How to Break Up (or Stay With) a Difficult Personality
In a relationship with a difficult personality?
If you often feel like you’re suddenly speaking different languages or were raised on different planets, where the rules of engagement are different, a personality disorder may be the cause.
What are Personality Disorders?
If your partner seems to have difficulty communicating in normal, socially acceptable ways or seems to interpret things in unexpected ways, they may be suffering from a personality disorder.
Personality disorders are conditions that affect a person’s mental health and make it difficult to build strong, stable relationships with others.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
People with BPD struggle with their self-image and are prone to impulsive behaviour. They are afraid to be abandoned and don’t know how to manage intense emotions, so they struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
This creates the perfect storm where their fears and behaviours often lead to a self-fulfilling prophesy, when partners leave because they can’t manage the anger, outbursts or extreme reactions.
While the problems in your relationship may seem too large to fix, a qualified borderline personality disorder psychologist can help improve things as a couple and for you both as individuals.
If you’re wondering whether to stay or go, it’s important to assess whether you’re both willing to commit the time and effort to getting the help you need.
Couples counselling can help you learn to relate to each other better and strengthen healthy communication and coping skills. In addition, through individual counselling using methods such as dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) offered by trained psychologists Fitzroy individuals can get help managing the condition and improve relationship skills.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
People with NPD perceive themselves as superior to others. They feel as though they are more important and deserve admiration. They lack empathy and can be exploitative, manipulative or envious.
If the partner is willing, by talking to psychologists Melbourne couples can get help to improve their relationship. Ensure you set clear boundaries, build your own strong support system and choose an experienced narcissistic personality disorder psychologist.
Relationships with a partner with NPD can be extremely damaging, so if your partner is abusive, controlling or unwilling to work on themselves, it’s time to leave. Partners with NPD usually do not see themselves as requiring help and the mere mention of can escalate the situation.
Leaving this kind of situation requires a significant amount of preparation. Develop a strong support system, including a psychologist; get copies of documents and keys; set aside enough money to get you set up elsewhere and if possible, cut off all contact when you leave.
Whether you choose to stay or go, always take care of your own mental and physical health and surround yourself with supportive people.